HOW DC STOLE DETECTIVE COMICS
With massive apologies to Dr. Seuss written by GHERU
Down in basements
Like Batman a lot.
But Darth Didio
With his head up his ass
Didio hated comics! The whole damn industry
No one is sure why, it’s just his tendency.
It has been said that his brain was incomplete,
It has been said that his soul was obsolete.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his Dick* was two sizes too small.
(*Grayson, that is. Come on, this is a children’s poem!)
You understand the truth.
The Grinch is real.
Hating the fanboys is pretty much his whole deal,
And who could blame him?
Anyone who’s met one would join in.
But worse, they take to the net and spread the word:
Darth Didio, The Dinch, is a turd
"And they are expecting their comics," he said, with a sneer.
”Detective Comics #27 is what they hold dear.”
Then he smiled, for he had an idea
For he is a dictator (just think “North Korea”)
Because, now he knew…
…All the fangirls and boys,
Would pay out the nose for this book with this ploy.
"So, then, let’s screw them all!’ he sang to Jim Lee.
"Subscribers shall not get the comic they desire… Now back on your knees"
Then word was sent out, through the mail (the slow kind)
Hoping no one would mind
That an $8 book
(You read that right, 800 cents, the comic took)
Would not come to subscribers homes, here, take a look:
He did something you won’t like at all.
To subscribers he said,”Find a store, maybe the mall.
For you will not receive your issue this month
It is too expensive, and we don’t like you that much.”
Then the fans, young and old (but mostly old), would sit down to tweet.
And they’d tweet! And they’d tweet!
And they’d TWEET! TWEET! TWEET! TWEET!
They would tweet #FIREDIDIO, and “old DC’s neat,”
Which was something the Dinch couldn’t stand in the least!
My editor replied “It’s a BS double standard!”
”Green Lantern anyone?” he demanded an answer.
I cannot continue with this tale.
My head hurts from too much ale.
If you think this was not hard,
You go ahead and try to be a bard.
But, the story is (mostly) true.
Would we lie to you?
In a parody Christmas poem written by a Jew?
Subscribers will be screwed, of this we are sure.
For Bleeding Cool’s tales are always secure
Now, don’t get all wary, little Mary Lou Fan,
I will answer your query as best as I can.
We know at the Outhouse how to end this encounter
That’s right, sound the alarms, and reset the counter!